Happy Mother’s Day from Anaina Hou!

Mother’s Day is a nuanced day with many layers and not all of them happy. We all had a mother of some sort; we can agree on this much. But from there it gets a little trickier because there are birth mothers, adoptive mothers, surrogate mothers, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, grandmothers who stand in for their daughters (or sons), and sometimes there are dear friends who are closer than our own mothers. 

There are women who had hoped to be mothers and could not, there are mothers who have lost a child or children, there are mothers who are… but unintentionally, and there are women who chose not to be mothers because that made sense to them and they did not cave to a stereotyped pressure. 

There are little girls who love their dolls and grow up to be mothers, or not, and there are Mothers in religious orders who opted to be Mothers to the Masses rather than to a few. Some children have two mothers (or two fathers), some women have/had an exceptionally close relationship with their mother, and some who have/had a challenging relationship with their mother.

Born: Barbara Jane Tucker, 1928 – 2012  

My relationship with my mother was not an easy one. She grew up having her father tell her she was worthless and should not have been born, who went on to be married three times to difficult men, the latter physically abusive. She found solace in drinking. My mother and I were at our best with each other when I took her each year for her birthday on a road trip. I have no idea why that was, but we sang to the radio (neither of us well), laughed, and could be companionably quiet. Sometimes I reached across and held her hand. I am grateful for those times. My mom passed in 2012 and mostly I remember the good.

Jill Lowry,

Executive Director