An Oldest Sibling’s Perspective 

by Kaylee McKoin

If you were to peek through our dining room window on any given evening, you would see a beautiful, chaotic masterpiece. You would see ten people packed tightly around a single table, talking over one another, passing platters of food, laughing and sharing a life that is as loud as it is blessed. 

As the oldest of eight, soon to be nine children, this beautiful chaos is my everyday reality. Our family math looks a bit unique. My parents had four biological children, but over the years, felt a distinct, undeniable call to international adoption. Through that obedience, I have been blessed with three siblings from China, one from Colombia, and we are currently preparing to welcome my newest sibling home from Hong Kong. 

Whenever people see our crew out in public, they often wonder aloud how my parents manage such a large family with so many complex needs or they view my adopted siblings as recipients of a great rescue story but they have the narrative completely backwards. My biological siblings and I are the ones who received the ultimate gift. We are the ones who got lucky. 

You see my brothers and sisters didn’t just fill empty seats at our table; they expanded our entire world and gave us a front-row seat to the depth of the Father’s love. A true living illustration of the gospel. 

Growing up as the oldest sister, I watched the behind-the-scenes reality of adoption. I saw the sleepless seasons of waiting, the mountains of paperwork, and the quiet, tearful prayers my parents offered up for children they hadn't even met yet. 

Every time our family grew, it required a major shift. It meant more medical appointments, higher piles of laundry, shuffling to and from therapy, louder afternoons, and literally squeezing closer together to fit everyone into our lives. Yet, through every transition, my parents operated under a single, beautiful anthem: There is always room at our table. 

Watching my parents pull up extra chairs for my siblings became my very first tangible lesson in faith. Scripture teaches that through Jesus Christ, we are all spiritual orphans who have been adopted into God’s family. 

In our home we learned early on that love is never restricted by DNA, and God's capacity to build a family should never be limited. Living in a home that bridges East Asia, South America, and the deep bonds of what family should really look like is a daily lesson in selflessness. As the oldest sibling, my life was quickly stripped of any room for selfishness—and I am profoundly grateful my parents taught us this. 

Today, our table is rich in different cultures, blending distinct backgrounds, languages, and personalities into one deeply connected family unit. Being the oldest has allowed me to help guide and anchor this crew. Whether I am helping with math homework, listening to late night heart-to-hearts, helping take siblings to and from therapy or doctors appointments or maybe even simply making space for someone who needs to be heard, I have learned that true love requires us to step outside of our own comfort zones. 

If our family’s journey has taught me anything, it’s that the best things in life happen when you choose to widen your perspective rather than protect your comfort. My siblings have brought an irreplaceable richness, resilience, and joy into our family that we would have completely missed out on if we had insisted on keeping our table small. 

I would like to encourage any family currently praying about adoption and wondering if it will affect your current children, let me tell you, it will. It will help shape and mold them into a person who is filled with more compassion and understanding about the world around them. They will learn life and love consist of more than just themselves. 

The road will absolutely require immense patience, sacrifice, and faith but when you follow God's call to make room for the fatherless, you will find that your heart and your children’s hearts expand in ways you never imagined possible. 

So what has international adoption taught me…… 



Remember in a home rooted in unconditional love and grace, there is always room for one more.

From Kris and Ginger McKoin  

“Wow, you have eight children?” We get that question all the time. “Yes,” we reply with a smile, “for now!” 

Soon, our family will grow again as we welcome our ninth child through international adoption. Our home is a beautiful, intentional blend of four biological children and soon-to- be five internationally adopted children. 

Four of our children navigate medical complexities as well as multiple congenital anomalies. Their days involve closely coordinated care across numerous specialties, including cardiology, orthopedics, craniofacial, gastroenterology, alongside specialized therapies for autism, visual/hearing impairments and feeding. 

Is it hard? Yes, unapologetically hard. It is a beautiful, chaotic, exhausting marathon some days. But is it worth it? Also yes. Absolutely 100% yes. Every milestone reached and every accomplishment made makes it undeniably worth it. 

Medical complexities and special needs are a part of our children’s journeys, but they do not define who they are. Their lives have value far beyond any medical diagnosis. They are strong, resilient, one-of-a-kind individuals who bring enormous light and joy to our family. 



Our children joined our family at the ages of nearly 3, 5, 7, 8 and soon to be 7 years old. 

For us, adoption is a profound privilege and an honor. We don’t shrink away from the hard truths; we keep our conversations honest, never ignoring the fractured pieces of our children’s stories. We acknowledge the complexity of the beauty we see in each of them. We remind them that while they cannot rewrite their past, we are here to help them write a new future - one filled with love, security, trust, grace, and unwavering commitment. 

A future with their forever family. 



So while outsiders might look in, scratch their heads, and wonder how we do it all, we are just living the life we knew we were meant for. We might be a little crazy, but we wouldn’t trade our tight-knit bond, endless laughter and the silliest of jokes for anything. For every challenge we may face, we simply look at it as an opportunity to grow and show others how beautiful the road to adoption can be. 

Loving our big, beautiful family has truly been the greatest privilege of our lives. 

--Kris and Ginger McKoin

An Interview with Gwen McKoin

What’s the best part of being adopted? 

“ I feel the best part about being adopted is knowing you always have someone there for you and someone to take care of you. You won’t have to worry about being alone.” 

What do you feel is the most challenging part of adoption? 

“For me, I think it’s that I had to wait in an orphanage for 5 years waiting on a family to choose me. I needed medical care and surgery that I wasn’t able to have until my family brought me home.” 

How do you feel about being part of a larger family? 

“I absolutely love my big family! It can get busy and crazy at times but I love never being board and always having fun things to do. My siblings and I are all very close in age and we share a lot of the same interests. It’s like always having a friend to do things with.” 

How do you feel about your parents adopting again? 

“I feel proud. I feel like my new sister is so lucky to be joining our family. We already love her. I’m so thankful she will get to experience a good life like I have. I’m so excited for her to be able to go on vacations and see things she otherwise wouldn’t be able to see.” 

Would you like to know more about your birth family? 

 “Yes, I have wondered if I look like my China mom or if we share common interests. I also would like to know why they gave me up.” 

Would you be interested in adopting one day? If so from where? 

“I think if that’s where God leads I definitely would. As far as where I see myself adopting from, that’s hard, maybe Asia or Africa. Only time will tell.” 

What has been the most impactful thing you have learned through your parent’s adoption journeys? 

“That they love big and unconditionally. Also that building a family through adoption isn’t always easy, but that every child deserves a family no matter where they come from or the medical needs they may have.” 

If you could give an older child being adopted advice, what would it be? 

“Even though you might feel scared and unsure at first, just know there is a greater purpose for you. It’s going to be ok. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions and be honest about your struggles. Remember you’re worthy of the love of a family and they choose you because they saw something special in you.”