A Lady contracts with an artist to have her portrait painted. “I have some very specific things I want in my painting”, she says. “What are they?” asks the artist warily.

“I want to be wearing a diamond tiara. Put ruby earrings in my ears and a double strand of 20mm pearls around my neck. Place my hands so you can see a 5 carat emerald ring.”

“Okay”, says the artist. “Just put them on and I’ll paint what I see.”

“Oh”, says the woman. “I don’t actually have them. But if my husband ever decides to divorce me for another woman, I want her to go crazy trying to find all those jewels!”