FAQ: Here are the answers to our most frequently asked questions:
What time does the program start?
We ask couples to check in by 7pm and check in with us between 7:00 and 7:30. We start the program promptly at 8pm. We do try to wait for everyone to arrive so please be considerate of others so that we can start on time.
What time does the program end?
We usually wrap up by 4:30pm on Sunday.
Is Food provided on Friday night?
No. Other than the snack table couples contribute to, we only offer coffee, water, and tea on Friday.
We live close by, can we commute?
No. The program works best by separating you from the rest of your life. Even if you live alone, there are phones that ring, dishes to wash etc. that can distract you from the work we are doing over the weekend. We will also be using the rooms for private conversations between you and your spouse.
We have a pet that we can't leave alone for the weekend. Can we bring them?
Please call the facility to inquire whether that they will accommodate your pet.
You will be responsible for the extra fees that are involved.
Can we bring our children?
No, with the exception of very young nursing infants, we do not allow children to be on the weekend. Please secure childcare for the entire weekend.
We have special dietary needs. What can we expect?
The facility will do everything possible to accommodate special dietary requests. If you have a severe allergy, please consider bringing your own food as a backup. All rooms have refrigeration. Alton Bay has microwaves.
What does the weekend schedule look like?
This weekend is a chance for you to concentrate solely on your relationship. We don't provide a schedule because we want you to relax and focus on what we are teaching and not concern yourself with what is coming next. T.here is a lot of material to cover and there is no down time
Will we have a chance to use the gym or pool?
This is an intense working weekend and there will be no time for leisure activities.
What does Retrouvaille mean? How do you say it?
Retro-vi is a unique term that describes the happiness of meeting someone that is very dear to you after a long time.
What should we bring for the snack table?
Prepackaged, individual servings are best. Avoid items that require refrigeration. Individual fruit is always welcomed as are canned or bottled drinks.
Why is the deposit non-refundable?
We are a non-profit ministry, and we plan our weekends based on having enough couples to fulfill our contracts and spread the costs of holding a weekend. If you can not attend and give us 2 weeks notice we can usually move you to the next weekend we have scheduled. Also, we know some of you will decide in the upcoming weeks that you don't need this program because things are getting better or you may get cold feet. Trust us, this is common. Many couples who cancel call back a few months later and say they want to reactivate their registration! If you are registering, you should make attending a priority. Statistics show that most couples wait up to 6 years to get the help they need. Why put off having a better marriage?
Why do you ask for a donation?
We are an all-volunteer ministry. We want to keep our program affordable and this way each couple is paying for their own lodging and food with the deposit and then donates what they can afford for the costs of the weekend & post sessions, which include the costs for the clergy and team's travel, training, food and lodging, facilities and materials. If couples are blessed financially, we ask that they consider paying it forward to help another couple attend.
What does "marriage" mean to Retrouvaille?
In Retrouvaille “marriage” refers to a conventional relationship between one man and one woman.
Whom is it for?
Retrouvaille is for couples who want to make their marriages better. We can help couples in troubled marriages and couples with good marriages who believe their marriages can be better. The primary requirement is a willingness to work on your marriage. Both husband and wife are required to attend the program together.
How much does the program cost?
Costs are site specific. Hotels cost more than retreat centers. A non-refundable registration fee is required upon registration to reserve your spot with a donation request on the Sunday of your weekend. Post sessions and on-going monthly support meetings are including at no additional cost.
How can we be sure our privacy is protected?
We take your privacy very seriously. Our attending couples’ names are never shared with any other organizations, parties, or individuals outside the Retrouvaille Community. Only your first names will be used throughout the weekend. Sharing anything more than this will be completely up to you.
Will I be required to discuss my marriage or personal problems in front of other people?
No, personal sharing is not required. Nor are there any group discussions on the weekend. The entire experience is between you and your spouse.
What if one or both of us is no longer in love with the other?
Most people who say that they’re not in love with their spouse anymore mean that they no longer feel the romantic love that they felt at the beginning of their relationship. This type of love is meant to transition to a mature, deeper type of love that can be sustained. Retrouvaille can help you make that transition.
I want to attend the Retrouvaille Weekend, but my spouse doesn’t. What should I do?
You have already invested a great deal of time and energy in your marriage, so giving a weekend of your time is a small investment. Try to assure them that there is nothing to lose by attending, only positive results for your marriage. If possible, print out some information from this website, or get them to read it online. You may also want to contact the local registration couple for your community nearby for ideas. The program is designed for both husband and wife to attend.
How can I be sure Retrouvaille will save my marriage?
Only the two of you can save your marriage. Retrouvaille will teach you a set of skills that, if used properly, will help you get on the right track. We ask that you arrive for your weekend with open minds, open hearts, and the willingness to work on your relationship. All of the volunteers involved in the program are couples for whom Retrouvaille worked.
Do we have to attend the community closest to us?
It is recommended but not necessary. Every effort will be made to find a location near your home where you can attend the post sessions and on-going monthly support meetings. Failing that, online sessions are available.
Will marriage counselors be available at any of the Retrouvaille events?
No. We do not provide professional counselors in the Retrouvaille Program. If you believe you need to consult a professional for your issues, most communities have a referral list of local counselors. Retrouvaille and personal counseling are quite compatible.
My spouse and I have agreed to attend an upcoming Retrouvaille Weekend. What do we do? How do we get started?
First, you need to register for a weekend program. Once you register, you will be contacted by the Registration Couple from the community where you will be attending the weekend. They will give provide you with additional information and answer any questions you may have.
English is not my primary language. Will that be a problem during the Retrouvaille Weekend?
If you can read an English newspaper or watch a news show on TV and understand most of it, you should be fine. Do not worry about your speaking ability; if your spouse can understand what you are saying, you will be fine. If not, look at the list of dates and locations, and you will see that some communities offer programs in Spanish and other languages, depending on the area.
My spouse and I are very spiritual. Will there be any religious services available during the Retrouvaille Weekend?
Mass is offered Saturday morning and a closing Mass Sunday afternoon. All couples attending the weekend are invited to participate in these religious services, but participation is optional.
My spouse and I are NOT spiritual at all. We have no interest in the religious services or doctrine.
This is not a problem at all. The services are voluntary and do not affect the flow of the program.
One of us just cannot forgive the other for what has happened. It was just too much. How can we ever be the same?
You will discover during the weekend that there is nothing you cannot come back from, as long as both husband and wife are willing to put in the effort. Many couples that have attended the Retrouvaille program actually grow into a new, far better place.
We did a Marriage Encounter Weekend, and that didn't help. How is this different?
Marriage Encounter is designed to make good marriages better. Retrouvaille was founded by Marriage Encounter couples that saw that something more was needed for couples with struggling marriages. Retrouvaille takes some of the Marriage Encounter concepts and builds on them extensively with a focus on moving a marriage from misery to rediscovery of the love you once had.