| ❤ A bit more of my story... The communities I've engaged in and the myriad of relationships within them have enriched and guided me in shaping the person I am and the gifts I offer.
My upbringing in Christian Science gives me a special perspective. An experience of dedication and intense exclusivity. As well as an experience of social discomfort and separation because of my holding this unusual choice. In my early 20s, I left the church with the powerful understanding that my thoughts and actions matter and have impact. I continued to explore spirituality and healing through other means. As a peer counselor, I received training in active listening skills. This fresh way of listening opened my eyes to a new world of perception that felt magical. I was thrilled and wanted to learn more about how to see and hear deeply.
After college, I worked in a halfway house for mentally ill adults. There I met my first long term partner, Richard. It turned out that both of us had a family member diagnosed with mental illness. No wonder we were both attracted to Sihaya Halfway House! Working there gave me language and experiences that helped me understand and relate better to my sister Ellen and many other folks.
Richard and I traveled across the United States, visiting intentional communities. We settled in the Foundation for Feedback Learning in Staten Island, New York. There my personal evolution and education about people continued. We lived together, worked together and talked about everything. Observing others working on themselves, and going through changes myself, gave me insight into behavior and thought patterns. I am still awed by the infinite uniqueness and complexity of individual personality and perspective.
My mother, a holocaust survivor, and I had the great honor to meet one of the soldiers who liberated her from a death train. Learning more of my family’s story and finding parallels between the survivors’ and veterans’ stories has been enlightening and deeply moving. My mother’s determination to overcome the damage of such trauma inspires me to keep expanding my own understanding of freedom and to question the limitations I may have accepted or imposed on myself.
After 27 years living in community, I was ready to change environments. I moved to California to be close to the spiritual teacher I had met a few years before. Some of my years living in the community had been very challenging; the next four years were even more intense. Through a plethora of experiences and emotions, I learned and grew tremendously. I raised my standards for myself around communication, work and space management. During this time, my partner Tom and I joined an outstanding co-housing community near Santa Rosa (FrogSong Community).
All that I had gained, I put to use when I was called to Philadelphia to be with my sister Tanya, who was beginning treatment for metastatic breast cancer. In March of 2020, just before lockdown, Tom moved with me to accompany me and my sister through her last two years of life. Being with Tanya fulfilled a deep wish of mine. At age 30 I became aware that my heart’s desire was to be able to say “I will be there for you.” This desire, this dream, had pushed me and carried me through layers of personal growth. I moved from being at the mercy of my emotions to being able to observe them and consciously, compassionately choose my responses to them. Thus I was able to realize my dream and offer a wholehearted "Yes" to my sister. And that Yes created the loving space for her to achieve beautiful healings in her most significant relationships. (In case you’re wondering, I do still have a brother, whom I adore.)
This desire to be present for others continues to move me. I offer the gifts of my life through professional organizing, friendship and life coaching. I would love to be there for you! How can I support you in making space for you -- emotionally, spiritually and in your surroundings? It’s not necessary to know the answers in order to begin the conversation. ❤ Let’s figure it out together! ❤
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